Orthodox dating rules

For most of history and in a large but shrinking portion of the Orthodox world today, single people did not have to worry about who they would marry: someone else chose for them. We cannot imagine not choosing our own hair style, clothing and career path; much less not choosing our own spouse.

In the best cases, the people involved had veto power; that is, neither one had to accept the match. We vainly imagine this power of choice is the same as freedom, but if we have no basis on which to choose other than our subjective urges, transient likes and dislikes, and fantasies based on movies, novels and occasional glimpses at internet pornography, then choice is not freedom but bondage: bondage to the ideals of a sick culture and the passions of a fallen mind.

And while the Torah (Part I of the Bible for all you goyem) does make certain prescriptions for how and when you get to know each other biblically, certain cultural customs vary between -- and often within -- sects.

We find that we have butterflies in our stomach when we see them, we want to know more about them, and more than anything we really want them to like us back.It is a systematic pattern of coercive behaviors intended to punish, gain and maintain control of the victim.It frequently begins so subtly that victims may not realize what is happening. A wonderful time for family, friends, relaxing, and playing.Young people, my daughters included, often say that there are no good candidates among the Orthodox Christians they know. Often Orthodox Christian churches are small and choices are limited.Single Orthodox Christians have no easy road before them, especially if they suspect that they will be married some day.

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